Last night, i showed hubby my leg, taking for granted he would know that i was trying to show him my slightly bruised leg. He was as blind as a bat and didn't even notice the discoloration of my skin. 5 years ago, he would have asked what had happened to my leg before I myself knew it was there.
The previous post was written before lunch, was being rather emotional when hunger strike. After a few laughs on marriage, divorce & going on labor, my mood is stable again. No more negative chi, for the time being :D
Last night i lost my temper again putting khye to sleep. It was not that he didn't want to sleep, there was another obvious reason. Earlier that night, my mum broke the news of other my sis is expecting. Oh, so two of them are preg but i'm not. I was supposed to be happy for her like the rest but selfish me, i was sad, disappointed, angry, frustrated, envious and all negative feelings & thoughts came at once. Almost immediately, my mood went down. Negative chi followed me all the way home last night and all the way to office today.
I'm still very very hurt.
Still the same topic. He says wait till Khye reaches 2yrs old and when the time is right. Who knows when the right time is?
Khye turns two on Feb-10 & if we're lucky, we'll be expecting a second one in Dec-10. If we start now, we'll be expecting the new born by Jan-10. Same year, rite? Why wait? Only Buddha knows how many reasons i've listed for hubby & how many sessions of fight we had over this matter. @#$#!*@!!!!!
Khye is going to be spoilt & pampered by everybody. Khye is going to become the most selfish person among his cousins. Khye is going to lose his close family members once we're not around anymore. If i were to die tomorrow, i will return and haunt hubby on my unfinished business.
Strange thing is, my friends whose hubbies didn't want more than a kid are all expecting 2nd kid now, AFTER being brainwashed by me. My hubby is a stone statue.We were discussing on how to celebrate Khye's bday and what cake to buy. I was surprised that birthday cakes from bakeries cost more than Secret Recipe cakes. RM150 for a number 1 shaped cake, min 3kg. If we were to buy 2 cakes as per plan, it's going to cost us a bomb just for cakes. After a week, we finally decided to order 2 cakes for the bakery near our house and they will deliver them to us on Saturday, one day earlier than the actual birthday. My Khye's birthday falls on CNY eve.
While discussing on which type of cakes to order, i told hubby to just order the ordinary round shape cake to be fair to everybody (our future kids). And his answer caught me by surprised. "That I'll have to think first". When we first got married, i told hubby that i want more than a kid. I used to joke with him, the more kids the merrier during our funerals :P
What does he mean with "That I'll have to think first"?? He knows very well, i've always wanted more kids and that i dun stay 29 forever. Okay, maybe it's my temper that he fears. But he thinks we're going to wait for another 6yrs and then only start trying for a 2nd one? What if it's too late and we have to undergo IVF? I have heard many stories where couples regretted that they didn't plan for a 2nd one earlier. Some couples failed to conceive after waited for too long. If we fail, then khye will be miserable living life alone without siblings.
Two years ago, on this date i became Mrs.Tee officially. 
More than a year later, we had this silly boy, Tee Junior.
I decided to take 4 days off in a stretch to stay at home, without Khye. Khye is sent to in-laws' place every morning as usual.
Yesterday, khye woke up at slightly before 7am, right before hubby's alarm went off. Hubby went to work while i bathed and fed khye while waiting for in-laws to come fetch him over. Peace. My day started with a cup of coffee and a nice movie - Hellboy II. We were supposed to watch that since when it was first launched but with Khye around, how to enjoy the show. I even joked with my parents & sisters that i dun have to watch Hellboy cos i have one at home :P Bad mama. After the show, i started with my cleaning tasks, the curtains. Took down the curtains in the living room & spare room for wash. While waiting for the curtains, i cleaned all the drawers and cabinets in my house (downstairs only). The funny thing is, the things found in the tv cabinets are not moved since last spring cleaning, so i just needed to take out everything, wiped and put back everything in the same order. I finally moved all my pics into the new photo album we bought a while ago. I still need one more photo album leh, not enough.
Next was to tidy up food in my kitchen cabinets, re-arranging plates in the cabinets, wiped my oven & water filter..etc. Not forgetting throw away broken plates/spoons and food from the fridge. Cleaned our spare room - windows, fan, light, cabinets.
Took a bathe and ate something before i was back in front of my tv and online chatting :D I did something similar around this time too last year, when i was pregnant. Call me a fool but i enjoy cleaning my house and put everything in order, when i'm home alone. If only i can become a housewife and given monthly allowance & a car to use. I got bored while staying at home last year when i needed to clear my vacation leave. But now, i'm more than happy to do that, as long as khye is sent to in-laws' place. Finally, i'm breathing again.
My life is a mess now. Especially when he cries non-stop. I have to swallow my food, i have to be in the kitchen after meal to get ready Khye's things. Hubby will have to take care of Khye in the living room. That little fella will be either trying to climb all over him/furniture or fall and knocks his head on the floor. Right after that i only get to watch The Nanny for a good laugh for like 20mins or so then after that i have to express milk before getting ready to bed. Yes, we go to bed before 8.30pm to get Khye to sleep. I practically scream on every night before Khye goes to sleep. It annoys me a lot to hear him cry. I've been hiting his little thighs and arms so often, when i should be soothing him. I'm getting out of control.
Hubby has been really patient with the Khye and I, no complaints and no throwing tantrum like i do. When both us make the house turns upside down, he will still be sitting beside us trying to help. It's kind of unfair to him. His job has stressed him a lot and yet he has to bear with his crazy wife and cranky baby.
Yesterday night, i lost my temper at hubby again. Actually it was just crazy and unreasonable, but i just lost it. The whole of yesterday was the most peaceful day after Khye was born. I had enough sleep from the night before & khye slept for like 3 hours straight after his feed at 10.30am. What more can i ask...but i just had to spoil the day at night. If i were hubby, i think i would have slapped myself. I dunno why i acted the way i am now. My life is a mess, hubby's life is a mess cos of me. I want to send Khye off, i need space to breathe. It's going to be a year and i'm still not getting used to having Khye around.
I'm sitting on my bed, surfing net using OUR own broadband, instead of having to search or steal from our neighbours. Remember once upon a time, i talked about having own broadband when i have reached certain limit in writing paid posts? Nope, it didn't work that way. Hubby is footing the bill now :D
This is one of the rare occassion where i get to blog in peace. Khye is sleeping peacefully in his cradle while i'm waiting for hubby to come home. Reading blogs, chatting with friends, how nice. Okay, i hear the door, time to offline and sleep, before Khye wakes up for his second feed. Nite nite.
It's finally time for us to tell mil that she can feed Khye porridge. The reason why we hid from her was cos Khye could not sit properly in the baby walker, he would slough and it's bad for his backbone. Also she definitely cannot handle him on one hand while feeding him using another hand. Half the food may end up in his notrils like what happened when i first fed him :P
I wanted to tell her to cook a very very simple porridge with meat, spinach and carrot using our newly bought mini slow cooker. But our conversation lasted for quite long as predicted. She got over-excited.
Me : Ma, can start to feed Khye with porridge tomorrow liao.
Mil : Yes yes, I already wanted to ask you about that bla bla bla. By right should start already..bla bla bla bla. I will use stove to cook porridge faster.
Me : No need lar, can cook with slow cooker, i bought a mini slow cooker already. Easier.
Mil : Cook with stove also can mah, will turn soft and starchy too.
Me : Okay lar, anything also can, as long as soft enough for him. Then put...
Mil : (interrupted) I will put potato, i will mix different veggies....
Me : (trying to stop her) No no, put meat, spinach and carrot enough. Then...
Mil : (interrupted) Ok ok, then throw away meat, spinach and carrot, let him have the porridge.
Me : No no, put spinach & carrot then blend so that he can finish up everything. Dun blend the meat.
Mil : No need to blend one, just cook until it become soft then can smash them up already.
Me : That way also can, but blend better, easier to digest.
Mil : I try lar, see which way. Can add fish also, not the poisonous ones.
Me : Fish is ok, as long as no other seafood.
Mil : I already wanted to ask you about feeding him porridge..bla bla bla....
Me : Ok ok, so tomorrow i prepare the slow cooker and ikan bilis.
Mil : Actually, can use stove, no need to blend, everything will become soft and edible one.
Hubby: Just listen to her (referring to me) enough.
Mil : Cook porridge, add meat, carrot & spinach.
See? It's simple, rite? *phew*
If that is what you call it. My mood has not yet improved since i was pregnant until now. 2008 passes like a breeze and before i knew it, it's already end of Oct. My Khye's 1st bday is another 3 months time, according to Chinese Lunar Calendar. One good thing is my weight has gone down and down, 53.5kg now thanks to sleep deprivation, taking care of Khye and keeping my sanity in check.
Khye is getting very cranky now, even my parents couldn't stand him. He doesn't want to sleep, he doesn't want to play alone, he doesn't let us go out of his sight. That explains why i'm losing weight so fast. I've forgotten when was it when my weight was only 54kg. Then we found out this. A tiny white dot, his first tooth. 
He bites everything in sight. Our coffee table legs, sofas, rubber mat, books, papers, toys, remote controls and even the wood of his baby cot. Sometimes i'll just let him have fun with his biscuits. Let him messes around on his rubber mat. Poor me will have to clean up everything after his small party.
He did it again, 2nd time.
I want to vent my anger into post. I want everybody to know what had happened last night, how hurt i was, how angry i was. But i just can't put it into words now.
My room is mosquito free now. We can open the windows wide for the first time, at night. The last time i did that, my poor Khye ended up being feasted on by mosquitoes. 4 bites on both side of the cheeks and a few more on the michelin thighs. Initially, we only on the fan & air-cond. But due to electric price hike, we decided to use other alternative.
We reno our room last 2 weeks. Hubby engaged people to install an exhaust fan in each of the rooms, including mosquito netting. At first, we wanted to have the aluminum netting but it costs a bomb and there will be a lot of drilling, which means a lot of cleaning up to be done after that. I hated the idea so much. The last time we had to clean the room was when hubby decided to change a few tiles in the bathroom when I was pregnant. Nightmare in cleaning up. Finally, we settled for the easiest option, stick-on netting. It's a magnetic type where you can take them off and on conveniently. No drill, happy me.
Hubby even custom made a cabinet for Khye's things including his toys, clothes and daily use stuff. Storeroom is also ready for me to put away junks. Our home looks more organized now with everything hidden in the store room.
Can you identify the most long-winded person in my family?
My dad speaks slowly and repeats a phrase a few times before he finally finishes his sentence. e.g "I went to see that person, that person, i went to see that person in charge......."
My mum repeats the same story to different group of listeners on separate occassions.
My fil seldom repeat his words nor sentences.
My mil normally repeats a story 1+n(n=number of people in the same room) times. She will relate a story to everybody in the living room, then repeats the same story to each and everyone again: 1 time for fil, 1 time for hubby, 1 time for me although all of us are sitting in the same living room. A total of 4 times at least. She even asks the same questions over and over again. My mum does that too but not so frequent.
Next question: How do you stop a long winded person from repeating the same stories?
I know it's disgusting!! I have no idea how it started and why it happened. If you're lucky you will not get this during your pregnancy. I applied stretch mark lotion when i was 5 months pregnant and when the marks weren't even there. By 6th month, i thought i was very lucky to be blessed with no marks on my tummy. But i was so wrong. The marks appeared on 7th month and the lines are getting more each day. It's 3D, long and deep mark. I still put on a lot of lotion every night but to no avail. I have to bear with the marks for the rest of my life. No more low waist jeans for me. Come, cry together with me. Oh yeah, my belly button is as ugly too.
