Monday, November 16, 2009

a real mom

Becoming a mom has become one of the routine in my life since Khye was born. However, the feeling of becoming a REAL mom hits me lately.

Firstly, when i was confirmed pregnant with my second baby. Crazy me, but it's sad to think that khye is not going to get 100% attention from me anymore and i'm going to miss his growing up before my eyes. We are closer to each other more now that khye started to ignore and refuse his dad. He even wants me to clean his butt and wear the diaper on him. Every night, khye will glue to me until he goes to sleep.

Secondly, we have to look for a suitable nursery for khye before the arrival of the second one. One weekend, we went to survey a few nurseries and after looking at the number of kids in the nurseries, i started to worry about khye. He is going to be alone with so many kids. He is going to be force to do things in a more strictly manner. Are the teachers going to patient enough with him? Are the teachers going to hit him? Will the teachers hide the truth from me when khye slips and falls in the toilet? What if i find bruises on khye's body? What if khye doesn't want to sleep and the teachers will force the cough syrup down his throat? What if khye is being bullied by the bigger sized kids but the teachers will tell me it's a common? What if, what if, what if....these are the questions that run thru my mind the whole week after the survey. Suddenly, i'm missing khye.

Lastly...Khye has not been feeling well since last Monday. And i failed to detect that as a mom. He was fussy, cranky and a crying baby at night. Even while sleeping, he would want to hold my fingers to make sure i'm there. Until Weds night, he was down with fever, followed by throat inflammation then cough. On Saturday night, i was thinking, what food can he take on Sunday. Usually, sunday is a rest day for me, which means no activities in the kitchen. We would buy breakfast, lunch and dinner. Lately, i came to realise that i should cook on everyday sunday, to ensure khye eats well, esp when he dun take veggies at all during weekdays. Yesterday, i cooked kuey teow soup for lunch and spaghetti for dinner. Hubby had to finish the awful kuey teow soup from lunch. Amazingly, khye finished his lunch & dinner without protest....am so pleased. I can tell the whole world, khye likes my cooking in the end!!!